


Desolation

by marytalouise



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, One Shot, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-17
Updated: 2013-10-17
Packaged: 2017-12-29 16:08:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1007394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marytalouise/pseuds/marytalouise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren has died, but that doesn't mean Levi is willing to let go.</p><p>[[Please note that there will be a suicide scene, so proceed with caution.]]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desolation

_Levi held the bleeding man in his arms. “Eren,” he whispered with a voice hoarse from shouting orders that day._

_Levi looked down, shocked by the alarming amount of blood. He saw the gaping wound in Eren’s stomach, and tried to stop the flow of blood with his hands._

_“We just finished the last battle, Eren. The titans are gone, you did it. This is thanks to you,” Levi babbled, barely noticing the tears running down his cheeks_

_Around him, the soldiers were silent. Even Mikasa, who would normally be screaming could only stare blankly with tears leaking from her eyes. Armin’s eyes were on the ground and Erwin held his fist over his heart, a final salute to one of the finest soldiers he had ever seen._

Levi sat up in bed, breathing heavily and covered in a light sheen of sweat. In the bed next to him, Eren was sleeping peacefully.

 _That’s right,_ Levi sighed in relief. _Eren isn’t dead, he’s just sleeping._ He’d been sleeping for a week, but Levi had faith that Eren would wake up. He had to; they had just decided less than a month and half ago to get married. There was no way that Eren would leave Levi on his own… _would he?_ Levi wondered. Levi tried to remember the events directly before and after the event, but it just made his head hurt and Levi shook his head to stop the trail of thoughts, got up, and decided to get dressed and ready for his daily excursion.

His boots echoed dully down the halls, the only sound to be heard in the castle. _I wonder where everyone is._ Levi mused. Then he remembered. _Oh, the titans have been defeated - they’ve all gone back to the walls, or out to explore._ Levi wondered idly what Mikasa and Armin where doing, what Erwin and Hanji were doing, what everyone was doing.

Levi didn’t really care, as long as Eren was with him the others could do as they liked, but he did feel curious at times. He wouldn’t go out of his way to find out how they were, but he thought about them from time to time. The past week had gone by extremely slowly, and it felt to Levi as if it had been a month.

Levi walked out of the castle doors and to his horse.

Levi spent the entire day riding near the grounds of the castle, making sure all was well.

At about five in the evening, Levi re-entered the castle slightly exhausted and hungry. Before he did anything else, Levi made his way to Eren’s room, opening the door to their room quietly. “I’m home,” he murmured.

Levi waited and felt his frustration spike when Eren didn’t answer. Shutting the door again, Levi went to the cafeteria and made himself a small dinner not returning to the room until it was time to turn in for the night. At that time, Levi wound his way through the halls and back to the room where he lied next to his beloved and slept.

This daily routine continued for more than a month. Each day Levi ran into more and more curious people looking to go beyond the walls, each day he came home to a quiet castle, and each day Eren had yet to answer his greetings upon coming home.

That night, Levi finally broke and he couldn’t take anymore. He began cutting anything he could find, using his blades to slash at unused furniture, old tapestries and even his food supplies.

After a particularly furious attack, Levi froze as missing pieces of his memory returned.

_Erwin stood before him, face as expressionless as Levi had ever seen it._

_“What do you mean I have to kill Eren?” Levi’s voice was icy, devoid of any emotion._

_“Exactly what I said, Levi. We have orders from Commander Pixis that we can’t disobey. I don’t want to kill him either, but we have no choice in the matter. Would you rather I kill him?”_

_Levi growled. “Hell no. I promised that brat that if it was going to be anyone, it would be me killing him.”_

Levi felt a lump in his throat form, and he began to feel nauseous, remembering the events directly after Eren’s death as well.

_“Hanji,” Levi pleaded. “Please help me with this. I’ve never asked for anything else.”_

_Hanji’s eyes were sad and full of emotion. “Levi, do you realize what you’re asking?”_

_“Yes,” he hissed. “Please Hanji, just use the serum on him.”_

_Hanji seemed to be  torn, but she sighed in defeat. Grabbing a syringe, Hanji filled it with a clear liquid and shot it into Eren’s right arm._

_Levi cleared some of Eren’s hair away from his face, and stared at the now clean body. “Thanks to Hanji, you’ll stay young forever, huh Eren?” he murmured._

Levi’s eyes widened. What had he been thinking, getting Hanji to preserve Eren’s body like that? What had he been thinking, killing Eren in the first place? He should have taken the brat and run, run so far that no one could catch them.

The arms holding the blades went limp, and Levi swallowed hard. Suddenly it was clear, what he had to do.

Levi made his way up to the roof of the tallest tower at Castle Utgard, and Levi was struck speechless by the setting sun.

 _It’s beautiful,_ he thought idly, as he stepped onto the edge of the tower. Levi let his gaze run over the landscape one last time, admiring the way the blazing sun seemed to bathe everything green in an almost fiery glow.

Levi took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the crisp air.

As he breathed out, he stepped off the roof of the tower, hoping to wake up in Eren’s arms.


End file.
